Before I was a wedding photographer I never really thought too much about what would be considered proper vs. un-proper when it comes to taking photos as a wedding guest. It wasn’t until I made the mistake of being an “Uncle Bob” myself (or in my case I guess that would be an “Aunt Betty”), that I learned proper wedding guest photo etiquette. :-)

Yep, you heard me right. At a friend’s wedding several years ago I totally was that person with my new DSLR going around taking photos of all the details, taking WAY too many pictures during the ceremony, and even followed the photographer with the couple afterwards to take some more shots! On top of that, I went home and edited (or over-edited) the images in my free editing program and posted them on Facebook and my Shutterfly page, with my “watermark!” Ahhhh, just typing this makes me cringe!!!

I had just started getting interested in photography and I had absolutely NO idea that this was a HUGE no-no in the photography world. I was just looking to get some practice and I think I thought if I practiced at a friend’s wedding that it was almost like I shot a wedding on my own, right? W-R-O-N-G.

If you’ve ever attended a wedding, chances are you’ve seen what’s known in the photography world as an “Uncle Bob,” or maybe you’ve even been one yourself. I’ve literally seen it all when it comes to Uncle Bob’s– from stepping out in the middle of the aisle with their camera when the bride is walking down, to standing up during the middle of the service while everyone else is sitting and holding the shutter down, to walking up to the side of the alter for shots during the ceremony!

Now that cameras have become so easily accessible, it’s rare to see a guest at a wedding these days without a camera. I’m not saying that as a wedding guest you shouldn’t take any photos, but I would encourage you to do so sparingly and respectfully, and here’s why…

1. If you’re on the guest list, that means the bride and groom want to you ENJOY their day with them. That can be hard to do if you’re constantly looking through your viewfinder to take a photo.
2. If you’re taking a ton of photos during the service, chances are you’re being a distraction to the people around you. (i.e. flash going off, loud shutter, or blocking the people behind you).
3. If you step into any of the aisles for a photo or stand up while everyone else is sitting to get a shot, there’s a good possibility that you will be blocking the professional photographer’s shot. While most of us have it in our contracts that we’re not responsible for missed shots due to guests, you’d hate to be the person that makes the photographer miss the first kiss or walk down the aisle as husband and wife. :-)
4. If you’re standing behind the photographer taking shots during portrait time, that can often make the person(s) getting their photo taken distracted and look away from the official photographer. Personally, if I notice a group with cameras taking shots behind me, I’ll step aside and let them get their shots quickly and then respectfully ask for the attention back on my camera.
5. If you’re an aspiring wedding photographer attending as a guest, the biggest no-no is to do what I did: following the photographer while they’re having 1-on-1 shooting time with their clients. Besides being a distraction for the couple, if you’re planning on posting the photos to your portfolio, it’s really not a true representation of your work. Why? Because the professional photographer is the one that has chosen the location, the lighting, posed the couple, and is the one interacting with them, not you. Beyond that, posting your photos to your Facebook photography page/blog/etc. with your watermark on them is disrespectful to the hired photographer, as it can be confusing to wedding guests/friends of the couple as to who was actually hired to shoot the wedding. If you’re looking to add to your portfolio there are SO many ways to do that (i.e. go to a workshop with a styled shoot, 2nd shoot for another photographer, ask some friends to model for you in their wedding attire, offer to shoot a friend’s wedding for free or cheap if they’re on a tight budget).

Perhaps one of the best ideas I’ve seen as of late is the idea of having an “unplugged” wedding. Whoever came up with this idea is genius! (BRIDES & GROOMS: There’s a great article you can read about this here to see if it would be a good fit for you).

Below is a great example of how one couple worded this idea in their wedding program… (Not sure who originally posted this to Facebook; if you know, tell me so I can give them credit!)

Can you imagine how much more people would enjoy the day and overall wedding experience if they weren’t concerned about taking photos the whole time? I’ve even seen moms and dads of the bride and groom taking pictures with their cameras in the front row during the ceremony! I always feel bad for them because they don’t realize how they’re missing out on being IN such an important moment!

If you’re interested in doing this at your own wedding, here is a great site with downloads and all kinds of help with wording for programs, signs, and officiants.

P.S.- If you’re wondering what I do when I go to a wedding as a guest: take a photo with my cell phone of my cute outfit, maybe one with the couple, and enjoy myself. :-)

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